Archive for ‘Personal Improvments’ Category

Memory : Memorizing and Recall

August 17th, 2009

One of the most remarkable abilities of our mind is it’s ability to remember.  Memory allows us to recall what we have learned through experience.  The more emotion surrounding the event, the deeper the memory of it stores in our minds. If the emotion was a negative one, frequently our memories get buried and covered up so that their memory no longer hurts us.  If the emotion was a positive one, we can enjoy the memory over and over again with a quick desire to go inside and review it.

 
IS YOUR MEMORY SERVING YOU WELL?

 

Do you recall what you learned so that you don’t make mistakes more than once?
Can you find things quickly because you remember where you placed them?
If in business or politics, are your memories moving you forward into more success?
Is your mind trained to remember and this discipline spills over into actualization?
Can you interpret more easily what you’ve memorized?
 

 

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR MEMORY

 

The more active your mind is, the better able it is to retain memories. Work puzzles, make up your mind to pay complete attention and remember what is occurring, connect pictures in your mind with events.
Utilize as many of your senses as you can when you set out to remember data. If you are remembering task items on a To-Do list, draw a little cartoon picture after the task to help you to remember.

 

Keep good records.  If you write down all your tasks in the same place every time (like in Outlook’s calendar) you’ll never let a commitment slip.

 

Insist positively that you will remember.  A positive mindset that you will and can remember, can help you tremendously to actually remember.

 

Make sure your diet and exercise routine is healthy.  Expecting your mind to work when it feels hungry or tired is not wise.
 

 

One of the best ways to utilize memory is to have an avid interest in everything.  This interest (a practical form of love) will help you to absorb data and recall it when you most need it.  If you want to Be the Change toward greater success in your life, a healthy memory is one of the tools to help you most.

Meaning

August 10th, 2009

Meaning: How we make sense of the world and infer meaning.

 
I have worked to embrace “meaning” all of my life.  I tried to understand those smiling faces over my cradle.  I learned that when my mom washed clothes, I could play in the sun with her.  I learned the meaning of good friends and hurtful people.

 
I began to make sense and value in my world. The Bible says “Know thyself.” If you “know” something, that something has meaning to you, so I think “Know thyself” is a great recommendation. 

 
What is the meaning of life? What is the meaning of my name? What is the meaning of Be the Change? Meaning is the key concept underlying the understanding about a thing. By understand its meaning, I became comfortable with them and I could then enjoy more.

 
Do you remember holding back when you did something you’d never done before?  Do you remember your first day of school?  Can you remember your first driver’s license test?  The first time you cooked for in-laws?  The first time you ate an unfamiliar food? 

 
In each situation, I had no meaning to attach to the idea, so I couldn’t find comfort there. As I began to learn meaning, a sense of comfort happened the second time I did each task.

 
I think it’s always best to dig deeper than your own sense to find true meaning, because frequently, you are mistaken. You will always have to examine the ideas from many aspects to extract complete meaning to fully enjoy it.

 
Here are some questions I use to help extract meaning for myself:

 

What am I supposed to learn from this?
What is my role in all of what is happening?
What is my place in this world about?
What more of the good is there for me in this experience?
Can this experience heighten my spiritual understanding?

 

 

Do you understand the meaning of why you work in your particular job working under this boss, working with these associates?  What should you learn from this? It’s possible to go through life on auto-pilot.  If you use this method, you will learn, but you will not have the conscious recognition and enjoyment of the meaning while it is happening.  Become aware of what you should learn from each situation (the boss, those particular co-workers) and you will add enjoyment to your life’s experiences as they are happening.

 
If you search for the real meaning of things as I have, if you exhaust every question in your search, you’ll discover the true meaning behind your one sweet life, the way it works, the lessons you are supposed to learn -  and you will have fulfilled your purpose for being here in the first place. During the process to discover true meaning, you will sharpen your Be the Change skills and I couldn’t wish for any more in your life than that you become consciously aware of how to Be the Change.

The Change Cycle

August 3rd, 2009

I would love for you to decide to Be the Change in your life after you read this article.  In the late 1960’s, Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross published a book entitled “On Death and Dying.”  She described five distinct stages of grief that people experience when a loved one dies, or when they find out they are about to die. This model has been applied in many different ways, and I’d like to share the five steps with you, because we will be using them to describe what it takes for you to Be the Change.

 
The five stages are:

 
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
 

 

You may not have decided yet to Be the Change because you are in denial about your need for change in your life.  You may say things like “Oh my life is okay” which may well be a way of saying “If I never admit to any flaws or discomfort, I’ll never have to do anything about it.”  I’d like to ask you this: “How long do you plan to continue remaining in denial about the need for change in your life?”  

 
Nature becomes stagnant if not changed continuously.  In fact, change is the only real constant in Life (which I think is funny.) Ever smelled water that has not changed much over a short period of time?  It smells stagnant.  Not changing makes your life stagnate. I hope you can recognize if you are in this first stage, denial, in one or many areas of  your life.  Denial is just a temporary defense.  You can choose right now to set it aside.

 
Once you decide to get past denial, you may experience tremendous anger.  You might be aware of how long you remained in denial and you’re angry with yourself for it. You might indulge a little self pity with your anger.  You might sandwich your anger with blame.  But like denial before it, anger is a temporary stage that will pass and slide you right into stage three.

 
Hope takes on a bright new promise in stage three, bargaining. You’ve still got lingering aspects of denial and anger hanging around, and you begin to talk to yourself like this: “Okay, okay, I know something’s gotta give, but why do I have to start today?  Why not go on vacation first?  Maybe I can begin on Monday…..” or  you might say “Can’t I put this off for a few months. I’ve got lots of work to get done first.  I’ll get to it eventually.” Or here is a typical bargaining chip “Dear God, please remove this burden from me.”

 
Each of those examples of self-talk puts the responsibility outside yourself onto some thing or some one, not you.  Sometimes, you get very weary trying to juggle denial, anger and bargaining and eventually, you’re so worn out from not Being the Change, that you slide into the fourth step.

 
Depression is really anger buried even deep inside your mind.  I mean, you really, really, really don’t want to look at it so you shove it down further inside you.  Well, this is truly good news to get depressed because what it tells you is that you are no longer in denial; you might still have some rag tags of anger; you’re no longer bargaining and you’re getting closer to a fix for the problem.  When you’re depressed, you might not talk as much as before.  You might refuse to socialize.  You disassociate yourself from being loved frequently in this stage. But you’re much closer to giving up and actually working on the change that wants to come forth in your life.

 
Finally, the fifth stage: acceptance.  You’re at peace with knowing that you’ve got to get this change into action.  And you give up all resistance, and begin to enter into the place where you devise an Action Plan for yourself and begin to implement it.

 
Everyone goes through these steps at different rates of speed.  It depends on your personality and your state of mind.  I know you can Be the Change and you can implements these steps to bring your life into greater harmony.

Why Do You Allow?

July 27th, 2009

What is in your life right now that makes you feel uncomfortable, or dissatisfied, or angry or sad?  Do you know what is required to move from this place of allowing that situation to continue to a happier place?  I think I do and I’d like to share it with you.

 
We frequently create situations in our lives where we tolerate things we don’t like for a number of reasons:

 

We think we can’t do anything to change them
They’ve always been there traditionally
We feel helpless to make any changes
 

 

I know a young man who performs the job of an accountant.  He’s a good accountant as was his father before him.  His father wanted him to follow in his footsteps, as many fathers do with their sons.  So the young man attended university and became an accountant as his father had before him.  But this young man wasn’t happy or fulfilled in this career.  There was a part of him that loved racing motorcycles, tinkering with their engines, shining up their chrome and being in races.  His father disapproved of his hobby and while the young man lived with his father, he was not permitted to indulge it. 

 

Did his love of motorcycles disappear as he worked in his accounting career?  You know it did not.  He felt it inside of him, prodding him for expression.  His true satisfaction was being in the world of motorcycles and motorcycle maintenance and motorcycle racing.  He experienced a growing dissatisfaction with accounting.  

 

Now this is a fabricated story to illustrate to you that we allow certain things to happen or to not happen in our lives. Our young man, like many people out there, had acquiesced to his parents’ wishes and desires.  He made them happy, but he forgot to include himself in that equation.  Allowing himself to remain in a place where dissatisfaction has become the norm will eventually make our young man ill.  Dis – ease is a lack of ease, and it does show forth on our bodies and in our experience. 

 

But let’s look at you – what is going on with you that you have been allowing, or tolerating or putting up with and basically not liking one bit.  If that thing remains in place in your life, it will eventually make you ill. You deserve a life filled with abundance, great joy, a loving relationship, success and fulfillment.

 
It would be very wise on your part to move what you currently allow into the Be the Change You Want to See In Your Life column.  I’d suggest making a list of everything you’d like to see changed in your life.  Now, put them in order of priority.  Which one would you have to do first to grant you the biggest sense of accomplishment and satisfaction?  Usually, the things you want to change fall into Health, Wealth, Success and Happiness categories, so I provide them to get you going with your list. 

 
Life is a wonderful thing and it will provide you with the resources to change the things you have been allowing into more satisfaction for you.  You have my vote for your success.

Five Practical Rules For Experimentation

June 29th, 2009

Once you’ve decided to Be the Change in your life, you no longer will be satisfied with not changing. One of the best ways to change is to experiment with new things, new ideas, new habits, new ways, new friends, new job, etc. Think about how good you feel when you wear new clothing. Your whole life should be that enjoyable.  
Here are some practical rules for experimentation – doing the doing – becoming the proof you seek through the results you make happen.

 
1. Commit to Doing the Doing. If you promise yourself that you will, then follow through on your own promise and do it. Change cannot happen without commitment. Once you have decided to make the commitment, you’ll slide right into a habit of looking for change and you will slide right out of the habit of remaining the same. Experimentation is the driving source of innovation. Would you like to be the innovator or creator of a new life for you? Would you like to experiment with becoming more happy, more healthy or more wealthy? Experimentation is how scientists discover new “stuff.” Why not use their Scientific Method ourselves?

 
2. Make a Plan. Write it down. Only write the plan for one day. After you’ve mastered a day, then do a week. Then do a month’s plan. Writing it down is a form of commitment. Once you are habitually planning, allow yourself a few day’s retreat from your normal workaday world and go off to create a Master Plan – one that embodies your Big Dream. The Big Dream that you’ve been pushing on the back burner. Bring it forward and write down the details of it in living color. Remember, you’ve decided to Be the Change so why not implement that Master Plan?

 
3. Get Someone to Support You. You don’t have to accomplish these changes alone. This is the work of a Change Coach. Or, you could get a friend who has the same ideals as you do. Note: don’t let their lack of performance weaken your resolve though. You’ll want to pick a friend who has the same level of gumption and accomplishment as you do. The internet has many communities sorted by age or interest. Find one that works for you and get in there and permit yourself to be know. 

 
4. Re-Assess frequently. I knew of a company in California that reviewed and revised their Business Plan twice a year. They were a highly successful company. We could follow their example. Are you staying on track? What keeps you from taking the steps you created yourself? Can you get past the blockages? Could you reach further? If not, why not? Write down a new plan.

 
5. Re-Commit and begin the Doing again. Frequently, it’s wise to pause in our lives and take inventory of where we are. Have an Applaud Yourself Celebration about all that you’ve accomplished to date. The conscious recognition of our accomplishments is a wonderful way to remain committed and give ourselves a fresh start. Recommitment and renewal go hand in hand.

 
When you’ve decided in your life to Be the Change, you’ll become an experimenter. It takes courage to experiment. It takes persistence to follow through with completing the experiment. It takes wisdom for choosing the steps you want to commit to, and it takes self love to give your self the give of Being the Change you want to see in you life.

 

Feelings And How They Happen…Part 2

June 21st, 2009

When the process of thinking begins, your mind wants something. It could be that sexy pair of new red shoes you saw in the store. It could be some hot new car. Your mind always wants something. Its intrinsic nature is to desire. So, it desires something.

 
The very next thing your wonderful, causative mind does is to begin to think about what it desires. If it’s those shoes, you begin to think about which outfits they’d look great with; whether you have the right stockings to wear with them; if your legs will get tired because the heels are so high, if your husband will notice them. Like that. And if it’s that hot car, you begin to picture the trips you’ll take in it; you can see your friends driving with you; you can feel the sun on your face on a trip; you picture yourself waxing it on the weekends; you can feel the looks of admiration when you pull up to the pump to get gasoline. 

 
The second thing your mind does is begin to think about what it desires. This thinking is also called reasoning. You provide reasons why you can or should have what you desire. If you have a negative tendency going, you might provide reasons why you should not have what you desire. You might be thinking “My husband would be furious with me if I bought those shoes. I better not stir him up.” Or those of you who are car buffs might negatively think “I’ll be so strapped trying to pay for that sweet car. Better not.”

 
Picture the thinking/reasoning process like a tree. 

 
You start out with your head (like the branches) up in the clouds. You see all the possibilities. They look good from up here. 

 
As you continue in the thinking process, you move down the length of the tree providing all the good (or bad) reasons why you can (or cannot) have your desire. 

 
Way down at the bottom of the thinking process is an event that plops you right into the lap of the third step of the process. Down near the roots of that thought process tree, you make a decision. You decide “Yes I can” or “No I can’t” have what I desired.

 
We have now arrived at the spot I promised you at the beginning of this article: feelings. That conscious decision you made at the roots of your thought-process tree is actually a feeling of conviction. You are absolutely convinced, due to the thought process you indulged, that you could or could not have your own desire. Your feeling of conviction is the period at the end of the sentence I mentioned before. You might feel joy-filled, exhilarated. Or you might feel sick, or disappointed.

 
More importantly than how you feel is the fact that you are the one who created the three-part process and filled in the blanks and arrived at that conclusive feeling! And if you don’t like what you concluded, you can go back and re-think it until you get a feeling of conviction that you do like! 

 
Then something wonderful happens. Somehow, someway the thing you desired will appear in your life experience. When you begin to observe this process, the appearance looks like a mere coincidence. Eventually, you come to trust that it is you creating your own desires. Your mind is a Cause Machine.

 
These words are Truth. They are the Truth that sets you free. Let me summarize the above paragraphs so that you might see this graphically and thus, find it more useful for yourself to create whatever you want in your lives.

 
FIRST A desire comes up from inside yourself

 
SECOND You begin to think about the desire and eventually reach a conclusion about whether you can have it or not in your life experience

 
THIRD A feeling or absolute conviction will actually manifest the desire “physically in your life. 

 
So what is a feeling? It’s the frosting on the cake. It’s the period at the end of the sentence. It’s the result of what you thought to a conclusive state, and it is the only way things can manifest in your life.

 
Here’s a secret. You control the feelings you experience by controlling what happens in the second position of your mental processing. If you won’t address your mind to thinking about all the necessary details, you cannot come to a conclusion about what you desire. This is why meditation is so highly praised. It’s during the quiet, reflective moments of meditation that you can do the thinking so necessary to manifest a feeling of conclusion, Be the Change, and thus, enjoy your heart’s desire.

Feelings and How They Happen…Part 1

June 15th, 2009

We banter the word feelings around blithely. I wonder if any of us has sat down and deliberately looked more deeply into just what feelings means? We learned as children to answer the question “How are you feeling today?” We learned to use the word in our workaday life: “I’m feeling overwhelmed with all this work.” We use it around our home “I don’t feel like cooking dinner tonight, honey. Can we go out to eat?” That word is part and parcel of our everyday life.  

 

Here is an exposé of your mentality – your mind – and how it works. We have to look at the whole picture because feelings are just one small piece of the whole thing. In fact, try to think of feeling as the small period at the end of the sentence. Feelings come at the tail end of the thinking process. 

 

You can think. This means you are a mental being – Mind Itself – because it’s only mind that can think. Imagine that! All these years of thinking and you may not have known the fact that thinking makes you a mental being. This is a critical piece of information. If you are Mind because you can think, then what? 

 

It’s very exciting, dear readers. If you are mind because you can think, then the very next thing to look at is what your thinking causes. Did you know that your thinking causes things? It does. Here are a few examples:  

 

  • Thinking sadness produces tears
  • Thinking happy makes you shout, jump and fling your arms out
  • Thinking sick thoughts makes your stomach ache

 

 

In a mental world, where there is your mind thinking, and this thinking causes something as its end product, this would make your Mind Cause Itself. I put those in full capitals because Mind as Cause Itself is crucial. I’d like to remind you that we are trying in this article to discuss feelings and we are making progress. You now have one of the two pieces of data that precedes understanding feeling. You now know that, first and foremost, your Mind is Cause and your mind causes what you think. 

 

Take some time to digest this post and stay tuned for part 2!

 

~Maria

Are You Trapped?

May 27th, 2009

Feeling trapped can leave us vulnerable to more and more dissatisfaction.  I believe our lives should be lives of fulfillment and satisfaction, so let’s see what we can do to help you move away from feeling trapped?

 
What makes you feel trapped? 

 

Parental pressure? 
Limited thinking? 
A toxic past?
An old, fixed mindset?
Your relationship?
A fairly comfortable life?
In a job  you despise?
In a sick body?
 

 

I’ve learned in my life that spending years discovering “why” you got into this trapped feeling is enlightening, but it is frequently unnecessary and even more often, a waste of time.  It’s much more practical to take the steps to move away from feeling trapped without knowing the why of it, so let’s see what we can do practically to move away from any trapped situation you currently find yourself in.

 
The first thing you can do is to admit that you feel trapped and which area you feel most trapped in.  Denial about this will keep you locked into place.  Admitting you feel trapped will free you up to move to the next stately step and become the change you wish to see in your life.  Before you read the next paragraph, won’t you please take a moment and write down what it is that makes you feel most trapped in your life currently?

 
The second thing you can do is to describe what not feeling trapped would be like for you.  Let me illustrate this with a story.  Victor felt stuck in a job where there had not been a promotion for several years. He wanted to be promoted and he had taken on more responsibility.  He’s talked with his boss, and the boss has pushed this off into the distance by saying he’ll look at it at the end of the year.  Victor feels that he’s not being treated honorably and because he has a family to support, he feels trapped in his job.

 
Let’s use Victor as our example going forward.  What would not feeling trapped be like for Victor?  Here are some examples of Victor not feeling trapped in his job:

 
He’d look forward to receiving his paycheck due to the increase in wages
He’d feel happy being able to set some money aside for savings
He’d be able to afford a few renovation projects around his home
He’d be able to take his family on weekend excursions
He’d love getting out of bed each morning because he’d feel compensated for his work.
He’d be stimulated meeting new work associates, learning more from them and contributing to more work projects
 

 

The last step is called Action Plan.  Once you’ve identified where you are trapped, and you’ve sketched out how not feeling trapped looks and feels for you, you need a plan to take your next stately steps and Be the Change you want in your life.  Inside you, is a wonderful information provider I like to think of as your Inner Coach.  Take a moment to quiet yourself and your surroundings, and go inside to ask your Inner Coach what the next steps are that you should take.  Here’s some advice about what  your Inner Coach tells you.

 
Don’t try to figure out what is coming forth.  Trust the words and write them down.
Ask your Inner Coach for the next steps and the ones beyond that.  Write them down.
Don’t sit in judgment at the information being brought forward.  Don’t say “No” to anything that comes forward.
Don’t become frightened at the largeness of the dreams or steps.  You deserve Big Dreams.
 

 

With the three steps provided here, you can be well along your way out of feeling trapped.  I wish you success on your Be the Change journey.

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

May 25th, 2009

I’ve spoken often about Be the Change. I love the idea of Change. Change is our privilege, a function of our free will, and it exercises autonomy in our lives when we learn how it functions and how to use it wisely and well.

 
In order to change, you have to decide that’s what you want to do. There isn’t something in the Universe that sticks out a giant wooden spoon and stirs up your life. I know that sometimes we’d like to put the blame “out there” but sorry, folks, “in here” is where we need to look to Be the Change.

 
Going within ourselves can be a fascinating and fun journey. Sometimes it may be a bit scary. The reason it may be scary for some people is due to lack of experience. We’re all a bit hesitant to do something we’ve never done before, but once you’ve encouraged yourself to just do it a time or two, you quickly get to the fascinating and fun part. So, let’s start with a journey within.

 
As you sit reading this article, just become peaceful, calm and quiet inside yourself. Notice the pace of how you are breathing. Tell your ears you don’t want to tune in on any outside stimulus. Close your eyes for a moment and just be in there. Inside yourself is a wonderful opportunity to talk to the “I” of you. He or she will answer all your questions. I like to think of your “I” as your internal guidance coach. So often, we’ve been trained to go outside of ourselves for wisdom and advice, when our own internal guidance coach is in there, waiting to help us.

 
I believe you’ve had a small sampling of what going within is like. In order to change your thoughts, your life, and your world, it’s important to adopt what may be for some of you a new form of spirituality. Your within is where the true spirit of you lives and it’s your spirit, your mind, who can initiate the changes in your thinking.

 
Changing your thinking is important to Be the Change because your thinking is what is causing your life and your world. I would encourage you to go within often and see what’s happening in there.  Become your own best objective observer.  Pretend you are a psychologist and analyze what you are thinking. If you become an objective observer, you can talk with your “I” and ask it why it’s thinking as it currently does.  It will tell you, and then you can offer your best objective psychological or spiritual advice and encourage your “I” to make different choices.

 
Governing your thinking is a wonderful goal.  It is true that “what you think is what you get” so if you want to get something different than what you have, going within and changing the way you currently think is the place to get the job done.  Let me show you an example:

 
If you want to buy a larger home, that would be your Desire.  Your mind has created that Desire for you.  It begins to think about having a larger home.  This is where choice enters into the picture, because you have two main choices.  Here’s how they look:

 
“I would really like a new home, but I can’t afford one. I’ll just make do with what I’ve got now.  I probably can’t even save up the down payment, and the lenders probably wouldn’t lend me the money anyway.  No sense even thinking about it.”  This individual has thought herself into “no  home.”

 

The second choice looks like this:  “I’d really like a new home. If I keep my desire strong, somehow, someway, all the pieces will fall into place.  I’ll have the down payment before I know it.  The lenders will have some kind of special financing created that matches my situation.  I’d like my kitchen to be bright yellow.  I want a garage and a large yard for my dog to run and play.  I’d need three bedrooms…….” See the difference.  This individual is busy thinking herself into a new home.

 
It begins with your thinking and then it pictures itself forward into your life and your world.  Try it!  You’ll like it.

Change Requires Choice

May 21st, 2009

Let’s examine the idea of choice.  In order for you to chose something – be that a dress to wear, a bicycle to buy, a sports event to attend, or what you want to think about – before you can make a choice, you have to think about the merits of your subject, look at all your options and then chose the option that works best for you.

 
Choice is a privilege and a freedom and it is judged by you, on an individual basis guided by your experiences and your preferences. Choice is an aspect of the exercise of one of your greatest capabilities, free will. Webster defines choice as the ability voluntarily to decide to perform one of several possible acts or to avoid action entirely. An ethical choice involves ascribing qualities such as right or wrong, good or bad, better or worse to alternatives.

 
What I’d like to point out to you is that this is one area where you are completely in charge.  Yes, others might try to influence your decision, but you are the only one who can make that decision, so you are completely in charge of choosing.

 
I’d love for you to choose to Be the Change you want to see in your life. The issues of being that change involve how you exercise your choice.  I don’t believe that anyone should be manipulated or coerced into making a choice.  Instead, I believe in laying out a smorgasbord of options for you and trusting that you will pick the one that serves you best today.  

 
When I look back across my life, I recognize that I make very different choices than I did in days gone by, and I also recognize that the choices I made earlier were the precise stepping stones that led me to make today’s choices.  I learned that you cannot chose wrongly because every decision you make serves you well in some way or another.

 
If you truly want to Be the Change in your life, you will become somewhat introspective.  Looking within where your mind lives, you will begin to familiarize yourself with its methodology, it’s wisdom, and its propensities.  You will observe its mental habits and its snap judgments.  You’ll become familiar with its memories. You will observe how its feelings get triggered off.  All of these things regarding your mind – methodology, wisdom, propensity, habit, judgment, feeling and memory – all of them involve choice.

 
Once you quiet yourself down enough to observe the workings of your mind, its at this point that you can begin to exercise choice.  You exercised choice when you developed what’s in there now.  You may not have been aware that you exercised choice at the time you were exercising it, but you did.  So now that you have benchmarked where you are currently in terms of mind content and concept, you can slowly begin to make different choices.

 
Your new choices will form new habits, new ways of thinking.  And because your mind is causative – i.e., your thinking creates your experiences – you will begin to manifest new experiences and they will match precisely the new choices you are making. This is the way you Be the Change you wish to see in  your life. Choose well.  Your ongoing life depends on your choices.

~Maria